Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
