everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
