We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
