You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
