I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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