I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
