We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
