you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
