He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
