Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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