true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
