Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
