Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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