Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
