He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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