My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
