Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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