K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
