How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
