I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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