before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
