Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
