I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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