I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
