What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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