I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
