I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
