Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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