she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
