woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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