WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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