I need help removing her.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
