Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
If that was your dad, he is hot
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
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