I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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