Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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