sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
