the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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