NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
