I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
