think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
