Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize