she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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