when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
