no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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