Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
