Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
