Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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