that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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