Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize