Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
it glows. i had to have it.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
