she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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