just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize