the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
