My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
