There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
