just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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