yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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