wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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